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  War on America

American Defense Translates to Ratings Magic for Saddam Trial

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Why doesn't someone just cut to the chase and kill Saddam now?
What, and lose the advertising dollars?
Hey, the jury didn't convict O.J.
Famed criminal defense attorney and NBC legal analyst Roy Black has announced that he will be taking over Saddam Hussein's defense beginning with an August preliminary hearing.

This will not be the first time Black has represented a larger-than-life tyrant with a deviant sexual bent. Black represented both radio host Rush Limbaugh in his battles with a vast left-wing conspiracy's attempts to make him pay, and sportscaster Marv Albert when he faced allegations of kinky sex and perversion.

Legal analysts, including Black himself, are enthusiastic about his addition to the defense team. "I have the sort of gentlemanly style that audiences will want to watch," Black says of himself. "In the hands of an Iraqi lawyer this could easily degenerate into something that isn't going to compel the average viewer."

MSNBC legal analyst Dan Abrams agrees. "Roy has a nice style that audiences are going to enjoy, at least in the U.S. and parts of Europe. I don't think even the most dedicated legal scholar wants to watch hours of an Iraqi trial without at least some American panache."

Black also plans to bring an exciting - and American - strategy to the case, claiming that many of the crimes Saddam is facing stem not from his own evil intentions but rather from the actions of over-zealous supporters.

"All these stories about torture rooms and rape rooms are ridiculous!" Black scoffs. "Saddam is simply a man with very fervent supporters who felt compelled to act when someone crossed their leader.

"Ultimately we need to ask if we can sentence one man to death or, worse, a lifetime in an Iraqi prison, over the actions of a few bad apples."

Black also refutes charges against his client for the 1990 invasion of Kuwait, noting that the statute of limitations has long since expired under Iraqi law. "Not only that, this was an act of self-defense. My client had good reason to believe that Kuwait posed an imminent threat. He did what any responsible leader would and struck first."

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