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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · George W Bush |
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| You are standing next to: Home > News | September 3rd |
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Bush's "Pet Goat" Nemesis Negotiating Democratic Convention AppearanceJul 15 2004 by Greg Kuhl
The goat's agent, Lucas McCoy, is quietly trying to hammer out final details - which he hopes may eventually lead to TV, movie and book deals for the reclusive animal. McCoy wants a prime-time convention spot for the goat, who has been in protective custody since receiving death threats from angry Republicans after his story was revealed in the blockbuster movie Fahrenheit 9/11. "He could be bigger in Boston than Teddy Kennedy," McCoy said. "We're hoping Katie Couric will conclude her interview by saying, 'Pet goats rock.'" The goat has tried to keep a low profile. "I'm just a humble goat from a farm in rural Oregon," the goat said in his first interview. "It's hard to believe that I could play a role in toppling a president, even one as simple-minded as Bush." Bush became acquainted with the goat while reading a children's story, The Pet Goat, at an elementary school in Florida on Sept. 11, 2001. Bush was mesmerized by the goat and his story, and sat transfixed for seven long minutes. "It was the ultimate deer-in-the-headlights look, on which all future looks like that will be judged," the goat said. "I thought I was just the pet of a little girl. I didn't realize that I had that kind of power. "But now it's time to cash in," the goat said. "They're talking about Goat TV - all goats, all the time. They've got one on horses, so why not? I want my book promoted on Oprah. And the movie will be done tastefully, none of that Paris Hilton video stuff." The goat hopes negotiations go smoothly, so he can leave the farm behind and live a better life. "I'm not asking for millions," the goat said. "I just want to provide for my family, and show the world's goats how they, too, can effect change. Plus, I need a good name. Any suggestions?"
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