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| You feel threatened by: Home > News | November 20th |
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 DeadBrain Time Machine: Martha Stewart Escapes; Standoff BeginsJul 17 2004 by Elliott McMillan
Stewart escaped from her second floor unit at the minimum security prison by tying several 1,000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets together. "The knots were amazing," said prison spokesperson Sasha Cano. "They were perfectly tied, and each spaced exactly 14 inches apart. The last section of sheets did not touch the ground. They were measured so that they ended four inches above the dirt path under the window. Amazing." An all-out search followed. Federal marshals and prison guards searched the surrounding woods. "We found evidence that Stewart went through the woods across Highway 85," said FBI Special Agent John Weston. When asked what the evidence was, he replied, "There was a path cleared through the garbage that litters the roadside and surrounding woods. The debris was picked up and put in a plastic bag, which was neatly tied and placed under a freshly pruned tree." Weston shook his head. "It's clear we're dealing with a devious mind." Stewart has been found at a deserted farm house in rural New York. She is holed up in the house, which is surrounded by Federal marshals, FBI and local law enforcement. The house is freshly painted, and has a lovely little flower garden out front. A home-made razor wire fence separates the property from the officers. Each razor is perfectly spaced and angled for maximum efficiency. "She even cut little jags in the razors so they cut better. She did a great job on that fence," said Angus McGann, the US Marshal in charge of Stewart's recovery. Law enforcement authorities are confident that they'll bring Stewart back to serve the rest of her five-month sentence. "We have her now. She's surrounded on all sides by Marshals, local PD and dense woods. It'll just be a matter of time," said a very confident McGann. "Just a matter of time." Related Articles DeadBrain Time Machine: Martha Stewart Escapes; Standoff Begins Jul 17 2004
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