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Senator John Warner - Caught Between Liz Taylor and Sun Myung Moon
Which is more embarrassing? Being married to serial bride Elizabeth Taylor in an era when Saturday Night Live comedian John Belushi was savaging her as a porked-out actress choking on fried chicken? Or giving permission for the Rev. Sun Myung Moon and his merry band of Moonie followers to use the Dirksen Senate Office Building for a coronation ceremony, in which Moon declared himself the Messiah and said his teachings allowed Hitler and Stalin to be reborn?
U.S. Senator John Warner (R-VA) admits both of his mistakes were bad - probably with the potential to damage, but not kill, his political career.
"I fell in love with the Liz Taylor from her early movie career - the celluloid, not cellulite, version," Warner said. "By the time she got to me - after Richard Burton and all her other previous ex-husbands - she was, uh, a little out of shape. So we both moved on.
"At least I focused on my career and didn't befriend that strange little guy Michael Jackson," Warner said. "Heaven help us all if he's really expecting quadruplets. And at least I didn't design a Boston hotel room to look like Britney Spears' Louisiana bedroom, like Britney's mom did, and then actually hoped people will stay there. It should go over big at the Democratic Convention," the Republican said with a laugh. "The Cheetos stains on the bedspread should attract business."
Warner admitted the Moonie case "was a little trickier. We were duped. I bought into the whole world peace thing and never once heard Moon's name mentioned, so I assumed it was OK.
"How was I to know? I'm a busy senator. We have meetings with lobbyists, grip-and-grin photos with constituents. We argue about war and terrorism and where the next free meal is coming from.
"How can a senator be expected to know anything, er, everything?" said Warner, who refused to answer the original question of which was more embarrassing, and instead commissioned a poll on the issue.
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