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Sir Elton John Sulks Following Arafat Funeral Snub
Those close to pop diva Sir Elton John tell DeadBrain that the superstar is "in a snit" after learning that he had not been invited to perform a new version of "Candle in the Wind" at the funeral of Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat.
Sir Elton had reportedly sent no fewer than four versions of the song to Arafat's wife Suha as she kept vigil at her dying husband's bedside.
"Suha just felt Elton wasn't really trying, like he was phoning it in," explains one Arafat confidant. One of version of the song, "PLO Leader in the Sand," is said to have been virtually identical to the version he had recorded for John F. Kennedy Jr.'s funeral - another occasion in which the garish pop singer was left out in the cold.
Confidantes of Suha Arafat say that the grieving widow was holding out for a performance by Sting. "She really loved him when he was in the Police and has deeply respected much of his solo career," reported one friend.
Some have theorized that it is the fact that John has become "the leper of celebrity funerals" that is responsible for recent high profile outbursts.
Fresco Swoosh, who began working for John as a pillow fluffer before being promoted to Wednesday hair-comber, says the pampered singer is obsessed with death. "He's made wish lists, you know, of the people he'd like to see dead, and he's written different versions of 'Candle in the Wind' for them. It's a bit creepy to be honest."
But it may be more than just hoping for deaths. Some speculate that John may be prepared to take things into his own hands.
"He knew that I'd been combing Elizabeth Taylor's hair on occasion," said Swoosh, "and he said what a shame it'd be if we every lost her. 'Big funeral,' he said, and then grinned and handed me an envelope with cash. He said, 'You know what to do.'"
Representatives of Elizabeth Taylor tell DeadBrain that she has already commissioned close friend Michael Jackson to perform a very special rendition of "Thriller" at her funeral.
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