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| You are slobbering over: Home > News | February 10th |
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It's Open Hunting Season on Miami ChildrenNov 18 2004 by Greg Kuhl
After shooting a 12-year-old girl and a 6-year-old boy with Taser stun guns, Miami police have declared open hunting season on children in the South Florida city."Nobody got killed, what's the big deal?" said Miami-Dade police spokesman Reuben Ashcroft, no relation to soon-to-be-former U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft. "If we don't stop all unruly brats before they start, what might happen next? It could be total chaos, even anarchy." Police used the Tasers - which can stop someone with electrical charges - on a girl who ran from an officer, after she was caught smoking and drinking in a pool; and on a 6-year-old boy who threatened to cut his leg with a piece of glass at school. "The officers were in grave danger," the police spokesman said. "There's no telling what might happen after a kid is smoking and drinking. It could lead to harder and more dangerous stuff - or not." Ashcroft said officers considered talking to the six-year-old boy and trying to entice him with candy or a toy, but figured shooting him with the Taser was the best alternative. "We paid a lot of money for these weapons, and need to use them," Ashcroft said. "And we only used them after considering our WWJAD (What Would John Ashcroft Do) policy. We had no choice." The police spokesman said hunting season on children would cover every day of the year, except Christmas and New Year's. "It's not as though it's going to kill anybody or anything," Reuben Ashcroft said. "It'll just stun them a little and get them back in line. We have to make our streets safe for all the law-abiding citizens in the Miami area." ACLU spokesman Rick Natchez called the idea of a hunting season on children "an absolute outrage that goes against every tenet upon which our country was based. "It's outrageous for a red state, a blue state, even Iraq," Natchez said. "Well, maybe not Iraq. But you get the point." If the policy is successful, Natchez warned, elderly people may be next.
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