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Bush's "Watch My Comments" Resolution Turns Staff Upside Down on Eve Of Inaugural

Jan 19 2005 by R.C. Johnson

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President Bush appears to be sticking to his guns when it comes to his resolution for 2005. In a recent interview with Barbara Walters, President Bush declared that he was going to watch his comments as his second term of office began. While most wrote the comment off as a recognition of past mistakes and a promise for caution in the future, the President appears to be ready to fulfill this promise at all costs.

White House aides and immediate Bush family members have been equipped with hand-held mirrors with which the President can "witness" all comments before delivering them to a live audience. In addition, special mirrors have been placed on the backs of the Secret Service agents closest to the President, to allow him a final opportunity to watch what he says.

"He appears very committed to watching what he says," concludes a senior advisor, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "I have never seen him so focused on achieving a goal. He kept Mrs. Bush up until midnight on Saturday and Sunday nights, having her assist him in the bathroom mirror. It's really quite inspiring."

While most critics have applauded Bush's measures to prevent another "Mission Accomplished" moment, not everyone is thrilled with his latest initiative. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is investigating claims that President Bush had mirrors permanently attached to the Bush's new dog, Miss Beazley.

Miss Beazley, a 12-week-old Scottish terrier, is reportedly sporting three mirrors, one on top of her head and one on either side of her torso.

"I certainly hope that this is not true," said Morgan Fanberg, spokesman for P.E.T.A.'s Arlington chapter. "Surely President Bush would realize that mirrors on a dog that small would be virtually useless. A greyhound I could see, but not a Scottish terrier."

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