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| You have been drawn towards: Home > News | November 20th |
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 North Korea Opens Arms Talks With Tommy HilfigerFeb 19 2005 by John Hetherington
According to early reports, the North Korean government will provide Hilfiger with arms in exchange for clothes for a "fashion starved" nation desperate to escape the ridicule of their stylish neighbors to the south. The need for fashionable clothing has been building in North Korea for decades. DeadBrain's resident expert on Asian Affairs, Milton Fraunbuaer, said the demand has become critical. "North Korea has realized that its shoddy appearance has served only to damage its reputation both within the region and internationally." Braunbauer notes that it is difficult to be feared in the world when you dress like peasants. "The North Koreans are regularly ridiculed by their Polo-wearing neighbors in South Korea who openly question their ability to effectively wage war when they can't even look good." Such criticisms have been echoed by U.S. President George W. Bush. When asked by reporters if we was concerned by the nuclear threat posed by North Korea, he joked, "If they knew how to dress I might be worried, but they just look like miserable peasants." The President later added, "Everybody knows peasants can't cause problems, unless of course they're demanding some kind of aid or assistance that takes away from my plans for global domination." The deal between North Korea and Tommy Hilfiger also raises the stakes in an already highly competitive fashion industry. Just last December designer Ralph Lauren set off a dirty bomb outside of a Hilfiger outlet in Hoboken on the eve of a major Christmas sale. Fashion guru Steven Cojocaru predicts the industry will see an increase in nuclear assaults. "I think the deal with North Korea definitely gives Hilfiger an advantage, but that doesn't mean that Polo and other designers won't be seeking weapons elsewhere." Yet in the end Cojocaru predicts that that it will be the consumer who wins with "edgier, more durable fashions." Related Articles North Korea Bombs Fukuoka, Tokyo Disneyland Feb 16 2005
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