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Tito Jackson Arrested in Bid to Improve Brother Michael's Public Image
Tito Jackson, the older brother of accused child molester Michael Jackson, was arrested with an accomplice late yesterday afternoon by police in Santa Maria, Calif., after staging the alleged "rescue" of a young boy.
At a hastily called news conference, Tito described how Michael had saved 10-year-old Johnny Colonna from being hit by a speeding car. According to bystanders, Michael and the boy were crossing the street at a busy downtown intersection when a car ran a red light and began heading for Johnny. Jackson scooped the boy up out of harm's way and placed him safely on the curb.
"This just proves that my brother loves children and would never do anything to hurt them," Tito said. However, a few minutes into the press conference it was revealed by sheriff's deputies that the "rescue" was nothing more than a clumsy ruse masterminded by the older brother to try to cash in on the positive publicity that baseball player Alex Rodriguez received for saving a young boy from the path of a speeding truck in Boston earlier this month.
The subterfuge was quickly discovered by police after a brief questioning of Johnny, who also complained that Michael Jackson "banged my nuts" when he picked him up.
In addition to being charged with filing a false police report, Tito was hit with an additional count of felonious leeching off his brother's fame. "I'm the older brother, and I was stepped over!" Tito screamed at reporters as he was led away by police. "I'm smart! Not like everybody says...like dumb...I'm smart and I want respect!"
According to police, the driver of the car was one of Michael Jackson's pet chimpanzees. The chimp was charged with one count of driving without a license as well as one count of flinging his own feces at the arresting officer.
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