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| You have fallen into: Home > News | November 21st |
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 North Koreans, Jamaicans Up in Smoke TogetherMay 16 2005 by R.C. Johnson
The Jamaicans, looking for security in the hostile Caribbean region, will provide North Korea with a "variety" of resources to aid them in their efforts. In return, the Jamaicans will receive nuclear secrets and, eventually, nuclear strike capability. "We've been working our scientists really hard," declared Jong Il. "And when I spoke with Percival (Jamaica's Prime Minister, Percival J. Patterson), he told me that everyone in his country was so relaxed and laid back. Our talks developed from there and now we have this agreement." Jamaica will send the first "care package" to North Korea by the middle of May. The package will include 100 cases of Bob Marley compact discs, 100 gallons of rum, 100 cases of Blunt EZ Vanilla Flavored Blunt Wraps, and 100 pounds of Jamaican marijuana. These packages will be shipped on the first of each month for the next two years. "We're looking forward to Jamaica's involvement with our program," stated Jong Il. "I believe we have a lot to learn from each other. Let this agreement be a message to the evil hooligan Bush that we are not alone. Interference in our development will have consequences beyond his comprehension." When asked about the agreement, Jamaica's Prime Minster could hardly contain his excitement. "This is great for Jamaica," announced Patterson. "Not only are we expanding the markets for some of Jamaica's finest products, but we are also securing our protection for the next millennium." "Working with that side of the world is nothing new for us," continued Patterson. "We've had a private contract with Tommy Chong for years. It was fun working with a movie star, though. Kim's really nothing like he was in Team America: World Police. He was very down to earth and easy to get along with. You don't encounter many easy-going movie stars. Those guys from Cool Runnings really let the stardom get to their head. I'm glad Kim hasn't." Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website! Related Articles Donald Rumsfeld and Spider-Man Want to Save the World? May 6 2005
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