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Gotham City Announces Controversial Caped Crusader Decision
Will they stay or will they go?
Citizens of Gotham City pondered those questions Tuesday as mayor Armand Krol announced the decision of the city council to ban same-sex unions in the city. While polls show that 90% of Gotham's citizens are morally opposed to same-sex marriages, citizens have continued to vote to keep them legal in fear of losing Batman and Robin to a neighboring city.
"I can't believe they did this," cried citizen Maurice Blacka. "It's really not that big of a deal. If one dude wants to sleep with another dude, why do I care? I think not having to worry about the likes of the Penguin or the Riddler is much more important."
The council's order, which will go into effect immediately, will nullify all previous marriage arrangements allowed by the city council. Any "non-traditional" unions will go before a special board for approval.
While concern seemed to blanket most of the city, not everyone was worried.
"I think you'll find that these changes will greatly improve our city," declared Oswald Cobblepot, Gotham City Council member. "It's just wrong for two dudes to be together. I don't care if they're superheroes or not."
The uproar in the city even prompted a response from Gotham's most notorious bachelor, millionaire Bruce Wayne.
"I think this was a difficult decision for the City Council to make. I applaud them for taking a tough stand," said Wayne. "If you like sleeping with chicks as much as I do, then you don't have any worries, do you? As far as Batman goes, I guess we'll have to find out as time goes by. I'm pretty sure that he and Robin were opposed to this measure, though. Of course, I don't really know because I like being with chicks."
When told of the Council's decision, Gotham City Police Commissioner Jim Gordon could only utter the phrase "Oh, hell." Gordon's police force relies heavily on Batman's assistance and stands to lose the most from the decision. Gordon then called Batman for his reactions, but would not reveal the nature of their conversation.
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