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Tom Cruise Leaves Hollywood: Begins War on ALL Medical Worlds
[poll]When he wasn't promoting his latest film, describing how his adopted kids are totally like "real" kids, and drooling and/or "fist-pumping" over Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise was opening our eyes to the fraud of psychiatry. The highlights of his seminar were as follows:
Psychiatrists are drug dealers
Psychiatry produces a society of drug addicts
Brooke Shields is weak, shameful and laughable (weak, because she took meds to cure post-partum depression; shameful, because of her affiliation with the sitcom Suddenly Susan; laughable, because "Seriously, Andre Agassi chose STEFFI GRAF over you?")
Obviously these are stiff accusations, but Tom Cruise had plenty of proof to back them up. Using the influential Oprah Winfrey as his platform, Cruise described how he helped "several" women overcome post-partum depression. And what was their poison? Just simple vitamins, and a few drops of positive energy (sourced by Tom's "light up a room" smile).
With this impermeable case study now publicized, we're all left to wonder: "In what other areas are we being over-medicated?"
We may soon get an answer, as Tom Cruise has announced his departure from Hollywood, so he can focus on exposing the many other "modern medicine hoaxes" that plague our society.
"Cruise's Crusade" will not be limited to pills or syringe-based medicine. Instead, he will begin his attack on the most unlikely of culprits: the Adhesive Bandage Industry.
Under Tom Cruise's direction, scientists will work towards legitimizing the common motherly practice of "kissing boo-boos away". If Cruise can demonstrate an affectionate and Band-Aid-free cure for even the nastiest sidewalk scrapes, he will surely bring the profit-soaked (but waterproof) bandage business to its knees.
More importantly, his discovery could open the door to a bevy of "love-based" cures. Just think: in a few shorts years, you could be French-kissing the pain out of someone's multiple stab wounds, or perhaps humping a broken leg back into form.
For now, we sit, we wait, and we overmedicate, until Tom Cruise steers us in the right direction. So God bless his smile, God bless his contrived, over-done laugh, and God bless his quest to save us from our drugged-up selves.
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