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General Lee's Navel Lint Fetches Enormous Auction Price
The outcome of Christie's recent auction of General Robert E. Lee's navel lint astonished even the most jaded memorabilia experts.
The intimate object, with a pre-auction estimate of $2,500. ended up being bought by an unidentified bidder for a mind-boggling $647,000.
The small orb of lint is described as being Confederate gray in color and still fluffy after all these years. It was plucked from the Civil War's leader's navel by Lexington, Virginia, undertaker Kessler Auchmuty after the Southern general's death in 1870.
According to Colin Heathrow, Smithsonian Curator of Antique Underwear, Lee's drawers contained no polyester, but were woven out of rough cotton threads common to the 1800s. Such a fabric can produce an impressive wad of navel clottage, especially in a man who wasn't a fanatic about changing his underwear.
Lee's navel lint was a prized possession of the Auchmuty family for over a hundred and thirty-five years. Placed in a golden snuff-box for safekeeping, the lint was regarded as a sacred relic by Rebel diehards and was visited by countless pilgrims.
It has been rumored that some wealthy worshipers would pay as much as two thousand dollars just to hold the venerated snuff box in their hands and sniff its contents.
Earlier this year, Kessler Auchmuty IV, who had inherited the revered lint, surprised everyone by announcing that he was selling the sacred artifact. Kessler the younger had been informed that a fanatical splinter group from the Sons of Confederate Veterans, known as "Opus Bubba," were planning to liberate the lint, by any means necessary.
Fearing for the safety of both his family and his six teacup poodles, Mr. Auchmuty put the hallowed lint on the auction block.
A semi-reliable source claims that the new owner of Robert E. Lee's navel lint will make the esteemed fuzz available to Opus Bubba and other goofy reenactment groups for God know what kind of secret ceremonies.
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