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Boy Scouts Confess Trustworthiness Issues
A spokesman for the Atlanta-area Boy Scouts has admitted that the beloved organization told a bald-face lie about having over 10,000 inner-city members, double the actual number. The inflated figure was used for undeserved monetary gain.
A chagrined Council leader, Honus Sheepshank, 30-year veteran of the Scouting movement, 'fessed up after investigators brought the improprieties to light. "What am I supposed to say? Sheepshank whined. "I don’t have a merit badge in arithmetic.
"This is bad news for me," Sheepshank added. "I can live without the red kerchief, but now I'll have to get a job where I can't wear short pants, and my privates need plenty of ventilation.
"If Norman Rockwell were still alive, this would kill him," he said hoarsely, choking with emotion.
Investigators have revealed that not only did the Scout Council tell the whopping fib for monetary gain, records prove that the Atlanta Scouts haven't helped an old lady across the street since 1983.
Buster V. Davenport, interim head of the Scout Council, said that he has his work cut out for him. "I must restore the honor and credibility of the organization," Davenport said solemnly. "And I must convince members that, while reciting the Scout Law, not to burst a gut laughing when they get to the 'Trustworthy' part."
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