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| You are lounging next to: Home > News | November 21st |
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 Hussein is California Dreamin'Jun 18 2005 by Greg Kuhl
"California juries showed remarkable compassion toward O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake and now Michael Jackson - acquitting them all. So why not me?" Hussein told the judge in requesting a change of venue. "The public considered O.J. Simpson a sick, twisted killer - but the jury acquitted him on murder charges. Everybody thought Blake was just a washed-up actor and a killer. Well, he's still washed up, but he's a free man. "Now Michael Jackson, whose entire life defines the phrase 'freak show,' is sleeping at Neverland again instead of in a prison cell," Hussein said. "Is California a great place, or what?" Hussein said another attractive factor in moving his trial is the ineptitude of some California prosecutors, including Marcia Clark in the Simpson case and Tom Sneddon during Jackson's trial. "Clark was so bad, it was painful to watch," Hussein said. "But I wish she would return for my trial. Even as poorly as she performed, she still found work as a TV talking head. Maybe she can be lured out of that job. I need her across from me. "Sneddon tried to make a career of putting Wacko Jacko behind bars, but failed miserably," Hussein added. "But maybe if he doesn't have a future at CNN, he could prosecute me." Hussein, not known for his humanitarian ideas, said the media could benefit from his trial moving to California because "around-the-clock coverage would be easier in Los Angeles than Baghdad. "Besides, if and when I'm acquitted, I figure it'll be simpler for me to break into television, movies or somewhere in show business if I'm already in the neighborhood," Hussein said. "Plus, I've always dreamed of owning one of those beach houses in Malibu." Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website! Related Articles Bill Maher Better Watch Out for Bachus, Sources Say Jun 7 2005
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