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| You are slobbering over: Home > News | January 9th |
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 Bush Places Blame for War Dead on ParentsAug 30 2005 by Spinner Street
"No one wanted to have to tell the parents it's their fault," White House press secretary Scott McClellan admitted during yesterday's briefing, "but Ms. Sheehan left us with no choice." According to McClellan and other White House insiders, parents of the war dead have used sympathy garnered by their losses to escape blame for their sons' and daughters' deaths. "The fact of the matter is that, had they parented differently, their children would be alive today," McClellan insisted. McClellan stressed that something as simple as "a lack of respect for one's country" or "a different socioeconomic class" would likely have prevented the slain soldiers from being in the armed forces. "These people could have been safe at home doing club drugs and having meaningless sexual encounters if they hadn't been brought up by people who taught them to reject these values, the values of the living." It was a message Republicans stressed throughout the day. Even First Lady Laura Bush put a softer spin on the message in interviews for both Today and Good Morning America. "I think it says a lot about our parenting skills that our daughters are safe in America enjoying themselves while other people's children are dying." The First Lady added that Barbara and Jenna had been deeply affected by reports of continuing casualties coming out of Iraq: "They can never understand how someone could put themselves in such a position, and I just remind them it's not the soldier's fault; it's bad parenting." Some in the White House questioned whether it was the appropriate time to place blame on the parents, but as McClellan explained, "We really had no choice. There's a determined woman trying to interfere with the President's vacation, and if forcing parents to deal with reality means he can enjoy himself, so be it." Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website! Related Articles Pentagon to Honor Terror Victims With a Parade and Pool Party Aug 28 2005
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