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  You smell better than: Home > NewsNovember 21st 
 

Video Shows Cheney Wanted to Euthanize Injured Hunter - Part 1 of 2

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Do YOU think Cheney was gunning for Whittington?
That's what you do to lawyers, right?
Yeah, but Cheney forgot to marry him first
Ummm..why?
So he could get the inheritance, yo!
Oh yeah, just like Anna Nicole Smith! Get down!
In Part 1 of this entertaining but only slightly astounding DeadBrain exclusive, you'll be whisked to the scene of the crime – an exclusive killing ground deep in the heart of Texas. Here, you'll get a chilling glimpse into the calculating mind behind our awesome War on Terror.

A video tape made of the hunting accident in which Vice President Dick Cheney shot fellow hunter Harry Whittington shows that the ever-practical Vice President felt the best course of action would be to euthanize his 78-year-old fellow hunter.

The tape was shot by a VP staffer who records all of Cheney's hunting trips. The videos are edited into a series of compilation reels called "When Dick Strikes," which the Vice President likes to show at family Christmas gatherings.

The footage is a bit shaky, but it clearly shows the thought processes that went on after Whittington folded into the snow.

"Holy (expletive deleted), Harry's down!" shouts a hunter.

"That's my kill, (expletive deleted)," replies Cheney, ramming the butt of his rifle into the jaw of the hunter.

As the hunters converge on the spot where Whittington's blood is beginning to darken the snow, the camera is dropped to the ground, providing a sideways view of the action. Cheney launches into a tirade.

"(Expletive deleted) A, Harry, what the hell are you doing between me and a quail? How many goddamn times do we have to go over the rules?"

"Arrrgh," replies Whittington.

"What the (expletive deleted) is 'Arrrgh'? Can someone please suction the blood out of his mouth and put his teeth back in so I can hear his pathetic excuse? I had a clear shot, and now all that buckshot is buried in his old ass. And do it quick, or you'll be prying that buckshot out with your teeth."

Tune in Thursday for Part 2 of this shocking news story! Well, maybe not so shocking, since you knew he had it in him, didn't you?




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