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14-Year-Old Who Had Sex With Teacher Now Seeking Medical Attention
The 14-year-old Florida student who had sex with his 25-year-old teacher has reportedly been hospitalized with ligament damage in his wrist and arm from what doctors are calling "excessive high-fives."
"We've seen this once or twice before," said Dr. Henry Madison, a specialist at Orlando General Hospital, "but mostly with athletes. This young man is in a considerable amount of pain, but I suspect it's mitigated by the fact that he's been bumping uglies with a 25-year-old hottie."
Doctors said that the constant impact of open palms on the young man's hand, the result of repeated congratulatory greetings from other 14-year-olds, had created broken veins, and that the ligaments along his forearm and in his elbow were stretched alarmingly. They are also concerned with the dopey grin on his face, but believe that will eventually go away.
The boy's father talked briefly with reporters outside the hospital on the condition that his name not be used.
"I'm worried about him," said the dad. "His arm hangs about three inches lower than it used to. But I guess that's the price you pay when you're a STRAPPING YOUNG BUCK! HOW 'BOUT THAT BOY! FRUIT OF MY LOINS, GETTING' HOT FOR TEACHER!"
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