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Deadly Worm Flu Worries Anglers

Apr 11 2006 by D. T. Kelly

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While the H5N1 bird flu strain has been concerning health officials the world over, a nasty new bug has been worrying fishermen in southern Louisiana: the worm flu.

"It's a killer," Jesse Earlscheib said. He and his twin brother Jessup are the first (and only) people to report the flu strain to the CDC. The Earlscheibs discovered the strain on a recent trip to their favorite lake.

"We went fishin' last satr'dy, and Jessup here forgot to buy the minnows," Jesse recalls. "So I made 'im dig up some of these here worms, and we fished with 'em. I didn't catch nuthin', but Jessup over there caught a nice trout."

"It was a good fish," Jessup interjected.

"My broth'r there cleaned it and cooked it," Jesse continued. "Didn't share none with me, and boy am I glad about that now. He developed the worst case of trouser rot I've ev'r did smelt."

"It was bad," Jessup admitted. "Jesse here's eyes was watering like the time I told him I shot our dog while hunting for snipe."

"It smelt like a gator done crawled up his puckerhole an'died," Jesse recalled. "I made him sleep outside that night."

"An' I din't even git bitten by skeeters that night," Jessup remembered. "We've been eating trout out of that hole since we was young, it had to be the worms."

When asked for evidence that the worms in his cup had a flu, Jessup spoke up, "Put yer ear to the top, you can here the bugger's sneezin'."

Asked if they notified authorities about the flu, Jesse explained, "No one will listen. They're so bugger'd up with that danged evianic flu bug they don't want to listen. I say let those Richies suffer, that's what they git for drinkin' bottled water."

Jessup had one more word of caution for anglers around the country, "Be warned, not only was I gassin' all night, but I had a nasty case of the squirts the followin' day. Use dem worms at yer own risk."

The CDC hung up on our request for a comment on this incident.

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