 |
|
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Barry Bonds |
|
 |
|
| You are drifting somewhere near: Home > Politics | January 9th |
| |
|
 Nancy to Laura: "Get a Ouija Board, Tarot Cards and a Good Astrologer"Apr 5 2004 by NM Puff
With rumors flying around the White House that the President reportedly yelled at cooks over perceived missing jelly beans, First Lady Laura Bush has become concerned over the mental state of her husband George W. Bush.Fearful of a second term, Mrs. Bush has consulted with former first lady Nancy Reagan to learn how to deal with second term presidents where there are clear signs of mental deterioration. Nancy Reagan, in her husband's second term, was forced to confront the progressing Alzheimer's disease afflicting then President Ronald Reagan. Mrs. Bush has cited incidents of the President calling her "mommy" and demanding that jelly beans now be at all meetings - Reagan traits. "All that wood chopping at the ranch is just a way to emulate the former president," said the current First Lady while confiding in Mrs. Reagan. "George has always had problems growing up in the shadows of figures like his father or Reagan. The problem is that he thinks emulating them will bring success. Leaning on the podium when he talks and that smirk - it's all Reagan. I'm afraid he'll even get Alzheimer's just to be like Ron," she bemoaned. Recounting her previous experience in the White House, Mrs. Reagan advised the judicious use of astrology for simple things like scheduling, while reserving tarot cards and Ouija boards for more important issues of state. "Astrologer Jean Dixon was a God-send for me," said Nancy to an attentive Mrs. Bush. "You may have to get around Karl Rove the way I did with Don Regan. But I think you know how to do that. "And look on the bright side," Nancy added, "if anything goes really bad you've got the ultimate deniability." Nancy further advised that other evasive techniques, such as saying "That issue is behind us" or "It's old news" would allow the President to duck tough questions and not reveal a waning knowledge of any details. Related Articles Nancy to Laura: "Get a Ouija Board, Tarot Cards and a Good Astrologer" Apr 5 2004
Liberal Special Interest Group Defines List of Appropriate GOP Commercial Topics
Mar 16 2004
Bush, Kerry Threaten Each Other with Secret Society Initiation Videotapes
Mar 11 2004
Kerry Campaign Begs Rosie O'Donnell to Withhold Endorsement
Mar 8 2004
Exclusive: Schwarzenegger Supports Alien Presidential CampaignsFeb 27 2004 Exclusive: Dean to Drop Out, Accept Contract as "Slim Jim" Spokesman Feb 18 2004
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2003-2008 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Survey | Vermin |