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| You just walked into: Home > Politics | November 21st |
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 Escaped Robot Wreaks Havoc on Bush Campaign TrailApr 8 2004 by Jim Bauman
The headline shook the nation: "Renegade Audio-Animatronic Bush Eludes Authorities!" Now, DeadBrain takes you inside the crisis."Two weeks ago," said Dr. Thingamabob, from Disney's Robotics Lab, "my colleagues stood the Bush-bot next to the Lincoln-bot in the Hall of Presidents, and we were about ready to beta-test the Bush-bot when Dr. Doohickey described a new deli that just opened nearby. We immediately stopped work. "When we came back, the Bush-bot was gone. Looking at the security camera tape, we could see that the Bush-bot was telling the Lincoln-bot about tax cuts for the wealthy, environmental enhancements, and nation-building when all of a sudden, the Lincoln-bot shoved the Bush-bot off the stage into the audience seats. "The Bush-bot quickly rose to his feet and ran for the exit. A few servo-parts were found on the floor, including the Cheney-Rove chip." Since then the Bush-bot has appeared twice, minutes before the flesh-and-blood President was scheduled to speak. In Kansas City, MO, the Bush-bot stood at the podium before a huge crowd, and said the following: "You believed me when I said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. You gave me your support when it didn't make sense to change targets from al-Qaeda to Saddam Hussein. And people say I'm 'dumb.' All I've got to do is wave the flag and keep you scared. I've got you eating out of my hands. You're a bunch of chumps, aren't you?" At first, there was isolated laughter and then confused silence. Boos began in the back of the crowd and moved wave-like to the front. The Bush-bot streaked off the stage and disappeared. A few minutes later, the band began playing "Hail to the Chief," and the real President Bush walked to the podium. He was pelted with popcorn, then hot dogs, and finally Republican Party membership cards. The crowd was inconsolable, and the President looked anxious as he withdrew hastily. The Disney head janitor swears that late at night, the Lincoln-bot mutters, "Bush...Bah!...In my day, we would've tarred and feathered him and rode him out of town on a rail." Related Articles Nancy to Laura: "Get a Ouija Board, Tarot Cards and a Good Astrologer" Apr 5 2004
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Exclusive: Schwarzenegger Supports Alien Presidential CampaignsFeb 27 2004 Exclusive: Dean to Drop Out, Accept Contract as "Slim Jim" Spokesman Feb 18 2004
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