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| You have been drawn towards: Home > Politics | November 21st |
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 And Now, a Public Service Announcement from John Kerry's HairJun 7 2004 by John Kerry's Hair
I am the hair of John Kerry. We've been together for a long time, and it's been quite a journey. From the mansions and country clubs of upper-class Boston to the rice paddies of Vietnam, we've been through a lot of things together.Now, John's running for President, and I couldn't be happier. It's not easy, though. The harsh lights, the long schedule...it's all I can do to stay firmly rooted in his scalp. I take some amount of pride in knowing that many voters' perceptions of him are based on me. I've heard women make comments about his "thick, lustrous hair," and many even call him handsome. I know that's because of me. I mean, look at him. Not to be negative, but a candidate needs really good hair. Either good hair or good policy. I'm amazed Bush was elected at all. But, be that as it may, Democrats usually have really good hair. Clinton had it, so did Kennedy. If you look, even Thomas Jefferson had really good hair. Auburn hair with strawberry highlights, and that was in the time before dyes. I don't know what that guy Traficant was thinking. It's been a good run, being with John all these years. Although I'm happy now, I still sometimes drift back to those halcyon days after the war. I was long and dark, and constantly run-through by hippie girls' fingers. That was great. I love to see that old footage, testifying before Congress, standing strong before The Man. Those were really heady times. I always had the best smell, that sweet mix of patchouli and pot smoke. But these days, I'm happy. John's really happy, too. He's doing okay in the polls, and I'm still hanging in there with him. With a little hard work by me, and a vote from you, I may be sliding across pillow cases on Pennsylvania Avenue next January. Thank you, and vote Kerry! Related Articles And Now, a Public Service Announcement from John Kerry's Hair Jun 7 2004
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Apr 5 2004
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