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| You just fell over: Home > Politics | November 21st |
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 F-Bomb Triggers Halliburton Stock Dumping on Bush Loss FearsJul 11 2004 by Greg Kuhl
"It looks more and more like that doofus is going to lose, unless President Cheney, er, Vice President Cheney can pull it out for him," said one Halliburton executive, who asked not to be identified. "Bush loses, and there go the mansions, the yachts, the trips to the French Riviera," the executive said. "We just can't afford to take that chance. It's better to cash in now than lose it all later." Another executive, who also didn't want to be identified, agreed. "Everybody knows President Cheney, er, the vice president greased the wheels for all those billion-dollar Iraq contracts," the executive said. "And we made out like fat rats. We like our castles, our exotic vacations, our plasma TVs. We want to continue living in the manner with which we've become accustomed. "But we won't be able to unless Bush can figure out how to win in November. Judging from that Fahrenheit 9/11 movie, which, of course, none of us have seen, he doesn't exactly come across as Winston Churchill Jr., does he?" It was unclear exactly when the Halliburton executives began selling their stocks to lock in profits, but one official said it came after a seemingly unrelated event - when Cheney dropped an f-bomb on Senator Patrick Leahy. "Everybody thought he was hacked off and just trying to show his manhood," a Halliburton official said. "But it was really a secret signal for us to start selling our stock. "Dick told us that if he did it to any Democrat at the Senate level, including John Kerry and John Edwards, it was a sign to sell. If it was anyone from the House of Representatives on down, he was just angry. There were some exceptions for Ted Kennedy and Hillary, but we're not sure what they were." Halliburton has contingency plans, though, in case Kerry wins. "We'll just suck up to him. Then we hope it'll be business as usual." Related Articles Bush Seeks Church Membership Records, Recipes Jul 5 2004
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