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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Donald Rumsfeld |
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| You are disappointed to see: Home > Politics | March 12th |
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 Insurgents Aim to Iraq the Vote in NovemberJul 25 2004 by JB Cougar
The message, which arrived at Arab news station al-Jazeera in yet another installment of the "Allah Gone Wild" video series, showed three hooded militants standing over an unnamed American hostage, whose hands had been bound and tied to one of the new "touch screen" balloting machines to be used in key battleground states like Florida in the upcoming election. There was no official word on where the terrorists had secured the machine, but the phrase "From Dubya with Love" could clearly be seen, stenciled on its side. "We will kidnap one American every day until the national election in November," said one militant. "We will then force them to send in absentee votes for George W. Bush, regardless of their political affiliation," the man said in Arabic. The man explained that terrorists who now call Iraq home because of the U.S. invasion are having far too much fun murdering people, and the free room and board provided by Iraqi citizens who have had relatives killed or maimed by U.S. Freedom Bombs is too top-notch to abandon just yet. "The free advertising we get in our recruiting efforts of young, malleable Arab minds is also a key factor in our endorsement of the president," the hooded man said. White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan said the Bush Administration is very appreciative of the newfound support for the president. "The jihadist endorsement is further evidence that President Bush is leading the world in the right direction. With the terrorists finally on our side, we can begin to rebuild the country we took so much care in destroying," he said. When asked if the endorsement meant that WMDs could now finally be found, and thus justify the war, McClellan appeared as though he had become very confused over the use of the term. "Weapons of who-the-what-now? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of the entire world hating the United States." Related Articles "None of the Above" Added to Presidential Ballot Jul 20 2004
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Jul 11 2004
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