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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Jon Stewart |
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| You are happy to see: Home > Politics | September 8th |
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 Ann Coulter Warns of "Biased Banshees of Summer"Jul 26 2004 by John Hetherington
Coulter is reporting that domestic diva Martha Stewart engineered her legal woes as part of an elaborate scheme to undermine the presidency of George W. Bush. According to the leggy Bush-bimbo, Stewart deliberately put her company and herself in jeopardy to "vilify George W. Bush and his efforts to clean up corporate America." Coulter quotes disgruntled employees of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia as saying "Martha's not stupid, she knew she could portray herself as a victim and make President Bush out to be the villain!" Lending credibility to the otherwise absurd story is Stewart's attendance at the premiere of Michael Moore's controversial film Fahrenheit 9/11, itself an attack on the Bush Administration. Coulter contends that the film, combined with Stewart's "lust for the Anti-American filmmaker," prove her desire to "help bring about a regime change." And it may be working. Following Stewart's July 16th sentencing, angry K-Mart customers taking advantage of "Sentencing Week Sales" on Martha Stewart products began rioting and chanting anti-Bush slogans. In response, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan issued a statement saying that President Bush believes Stewart's punishment was appropriate. "The President feels that anytime you deliberately lie or mislead anyone there are consequences to pay." Yet the White House's trouble may not end with Martha Stewart's sentencing. Coulter suggests that Stewart is just one of a number of "frustrated liberal nutcases" out to sabotage Bush's efforts to spread his unique brand of freedom and democracy throughout the world. Among those Coulter counts as "enemies of the state" is Mother Nature. "Clearly we have seen from Western wild fires and record rain and flooding in the Northeast that Mother Nature has decided to buy into the Democrats' pro-environment fantasies, and is doing all she can to make President Bush appear weak and ineffectual." However, sources say an even greater threat is lurking within the Kerry-Edwards campaign in the form of Teresa Heinz-Kerry and Elizabeth Edwards. As Coulter notes, "These women are actually sleeping with liberals. There's nothing more insidious." Related Articles Insurgents Aim to Iraq the Vote in November Jul 25 2004
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