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| You are drifting somewhere near: Home > Politics | September 7th |
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 DeadBrain Uncovers the Truth About Ron Reagan, Jr.Jul 27 2004 by John Hetherington
Former Reagan maid Nellie Moxcillian first tipped DeadBrain off to the Reagan scandal. She explains that "they took the boy in and even gave him Mr. Reagan's name, and all he has done is bring shame upon their house." Reagan has consistently failed to live like the real son of a conservative icon, a fact noted recently by the Washington Times. "Reagan has done everything possible to disgrace his father and his father's party - from ballet dancing to traipsing around as a correspondent on MSNBC with unabashed friends of terrorism like Keith Olbermann." Worst of all, the so-called Ron Reagan "Jr." agreed to speak at the Democratic National Convention in favor of stem cell research, a move that infuriated House Speaker Dennis Hastert. "This is just sick, unnatural 'research' designed to help the sick and the weak - the very people who are a drain on our society - and he is stabbing his father's party in the back." Clearly this is not the behavior of a man with conservative genes in him. In contrast, Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) has demonstrated his real lineage in an illustrious career dedicated to the preservation of conservative values and prohibitive restrictions on gay sex. Not surprisingly, then, DeadBrain has learned that Santorum is the product of a brief tryst between his mother and Ronald Reagan. As Santorum biographer Morgan Butler explains, Santorum's parents had a strained marriage. "Rick's 'father' had extra-marital, non-homo sapiens interests." According to Butler, there is good reason why the senator associates bestiality with homosexuality. "Poor Rick knew that his father only stayed with them because he couldn't marry outside of his species." Yet as Ronald Reagan, Jr. prepares to take the state at the Democratic Convention, probably in a tutu, Reagan's real son is continuing the battle against stem cell research and every other type of progress that threatens to drag American down. Related Articles Ann Coulter Warns of "Biased Banshees of Summer" Jul 26 2004
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