Daily Coverage of Jon Stewart and The Daily Show's Democratic Convention Coverage: Thursday, July 29th, 2004

Mugging Factor*: 8

Hair and Attire Percentage**: 86

Laugh Quotient***: 2CA

Content Integer****: 021853781

Delivery Metrics*****: See pie chart at right.

Minion Matrix******: See bar chart below.



Summary:

Tonight, Stephen Colbert said in eight words what used to take only five:

"It's not news. It's not even fake news."

Yes, the emperor had no clothes, and Colbert wasn't afraid to say it. The Democratic National Convention wasn't even worth reporting on. We all knew it. The networks all knew it, and couldn't be bothered to show much more than Kerry's speech. So what do you think happened next on The Daily Show?

(Insert long John-Edwards-like uncomfortable pause of silence here.)

They reported on it!

So now we're totally confused. If The Daily Show isn't a real news show, and now it's not even a fake news show, then what the hell is it?! Turducken?

And to confuse us even further, they're going to be on tomorrow night. Friday! Sista say what? Well, maybe all will be revealed tomorrow.

(And Jon was well-turned-out this evening.)


*A rating on a scale of 1-10 of Stewart's use of facial expressions to punctuate jokes.
**A rating that determines whether Stewart is "Hot or Not" each day. Not endorsed by the Jon Stewart Estrogen Brigade.
***The average number of laughs per minute of show, counted hexadecimally and multiplied by the remainder.
****The time at which this was written (Eastern), still with absolutely no relevance to content analysis whatsoever.
*****Tracks the relative breakdown of timing, inflection, and general mellifluousness.
******Tracking the mojo of each correspondent appearing during the DNC Democratic Convention coverage.

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