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| You are sitting on: Home > Politics | October 10th |
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 Lagging in Campaign Fundraising, Bush Offers Line of New Hygiene ProductsAug 18 2004 by D. T. Kelly
In an effort to raise more funds before the RNC, President George "Dubya" Bush introduced a new product line at a press conference from his ranch in Crawford, Texas."My wife thought it was time for me to appeal to the millions of American women who might feel unloved by this administration," Bush said. "That's why I've come up with this new product," at which time the President held up a box of 'Dubya Douche.' Condoleezza Rice and Laura Bush nodded their approval and clapped as a screen came down and the first commercial for the product ran. On the screen, Dubya and his father are seen walking along in the White House Rose Garden. "Son, do you ever get that 'not-so-fresh' feeling?" Bush 41 says. George Junior turns to look his pappy in the eye, but inadvertently ends up staring into the camera. "Dad, I do. But that's why I use 'Dubya Douche.' It clears up that feeling faster than a rodeo horse with a burr under its saddle. And it smells good too, see?" At this point, Dubya holds the bag to his father's face. "Wow son, that smells fresh!" "It also comes in Wintermint and Desert Rose, Pap." They continue their walk in the garden as a voiceover is heard: "Dubya Douche. The only way to feel fresh. For a limited time, Dubya Douche now comes with a free sample of Cheney's Home Colonic Irrigation Kit. Remember, when your ass is involved, trust a Dick!™ Sump pump not included." President Bush walked back to the podium, a giant box of Dubya Douche on screen behind him. "Be on the lookout for a few more products coming soon, like the Dubya Home Taxidermy Kit and the Dubya Pretzelmaker. Just look for the boxes with my face on it. Thank you, and God bless America. And my Douche!" Related Articles Charley Attacks Florida; Kerry Has Unexpected 'Nam Flashback Aug 17 2004
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