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| You are happy to see: Home > Politics | February 9th |
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 GOP Convention Brings Jobs to New York Prostitutes and Drug DealersAug 30 2004 by John Hetherington
Desiree Wankun, mistress of Desiree's House of Non-Complacent Harlots, reported that her firm's typically robust business has really shot through the roof. "Oh yea, I've never seen so many fat white men before," she said. The thought of RNC delegates racing to abandon their righteousness like so many television evangelists is not surprising; however, their desire for sex that extends beyond extramarital into the realm of the disturbingly kinky may be. According to NY Sex Trade Weekly, the city's industry has seen a 38 percent increase in leather sales and a staggering 62 percent increase in Bill Clinton masks. The journal also reports the importation of an "alarming" number of goats. While confidentiality prevents Desiree Wankum from commenting specifically on these trends, she did note, "They bad, mmhmm." Retired sociologist and New York street-person Ken Morgan said the men need to embrace these seemingly forbidden areas of their sexuality. "Often these men are married to the schoolmarm types who like their sex to be traditional and plain. They feel that they need to go outside of their marriage for gratification. Of course the irony is that their wives are bored to death, too." Morgan added, "Can I have five dollars?" Just as New York's sex trade has bustled during the RNC, so too has its drug trade. Interestingly, however, Republicans seems to be favoring crack over what many regard as the party nominee's favorite, cocaine. This has some pundits asking if there are rifts within the party. "I don't think so," House Speaker Dennis Hastert maintained. "I think coke was the right thing at the time for the President. It was trendy - Eric Clapton had that great song - but now we need crack both for the rush it provides and its ability to help us identify with lower class constituents." Related Articles Kerry's Attack Sinks Swift Boat Critics Aug 29 2004
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