 |
|
|
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Lord of the Rings |
|
 |
|
| You are hovering over: Home > Politics | September 3rd |
| |
|
 "Stoned Guy" Reports on Wednesday's Republican Convention EventsSep 2 2004 by Stoned Guy
In light of the mysterious disappearance of International Satirists Guild President Douglass Ramssmullett at the conclusion of his Democratic Convention coverage, DeadBrain has convinced "Stoned Guy," our analyst for President Bush's 2004 State of the Union Address, to provide a review of Wednesday's events at the Republican National Convention.Uhhh…this is kinda weak, I know, but I bailed out on most of the stuff today. It's not really my fault, though, 'cause they said it was supposed to be a party, but dude - this is like, soooooooooo lame, I don't even know HOW they can call it a party! In MY party, you go outside and commune with nature. The open sky, the endless fields, the tallest trees. You get to kill stuff and eat it too, 'cause that's what the Indians did, and they were pretty cool and totally in tune with the earth before we forced them into casino slave labor. I did see a coupla those Indian enslavers on the tube, though, in the little picture-in-the-picture thing while I was checking out my Harold and Maude DVD. Ruth Gordon's a total MILF. Anyway, dude, is the "G" in "GOP" for like "Grandpa"? Like, "Grandpa's Old Peanuts" or something, 'cause of the elephant? They find dudes and chicks my age in the crowd, but come on - they're just like the rats in the lab. I know The Man when I see him, and The Man is an old white guy with a too-cool name like Zell or a totally stupid name like Dick. They kinda scare me, 'cause they look at you real hard, like they're gonna take their belts off and just whip the crap outta you for like no reason, right in the middle of everything. Who wants that? "Re-elect us, so we can take off our belts and whip you for four more years." Then they'll get bored with that and go all Deliverance on us. Man, politics stuff is way freaky. I'm gonna need a serious bongload to get off this bum trip. Later on, croutons. Related Articles Freedom Ferret Haiku Strips: Republican Convention, Day 3 of 4 Sep 2 2004
Loathing Laura: America Turns on Its First Lady - Part 3
Sep 2 2004
"Stoned Guy" Reports on Tuesday's Republican Convention Events
Sep 1 2004
Loathing Laura: America Turns on Its First Lady - Part 2
Sep 1 2004
Freedom Ferret Haiku Strips: Republican Convention, Day 2 of 4
Sep 1 2004
"Stoned Guy" Reports on Monday's Republican Convention Events
Aug 31 2004
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2003-2008 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Survey | Vermin |