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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Donald Rumsfeld |
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| You are disappointed to see: Home > Politics | September 8th |
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 Bush on BushSep 5 2004 by Jim Bauman
"My true blue, red, white, and friends, our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." The crowd chuckled. "Remember during the days before the war when I was warning Saddam, I said, 'I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will.'" Now, the delegates belly-laughed and clapped. Our reporter scanned the crowd and found Professor Jerome Birdwhistle, author of Unreal Reality - Conservative Republicans Out of Touch and Out of Step with the Rest of America. The Professor explained why Bush was repeating his mistaken past remarks, the gaffes known as "Bushisms." "The attitude of this convention crowd is the same as that of parents who watch their babies coo-coo, or their toddlers mispronounce words. They think it's cute and endearing," said Birdwhistle. At the podium, Bush continued his parade of previous vocal blunders. "At that time, my friends, I said, 'There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world's worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons.'" The hall was filled with guffaws and applause. The looming figure of Vice President Dick Cheney then appeared next to the President. While pointing at Bush, Cheney said in a booming voice, "Now, if anybody doesn't like what this great man says, I have these few words for you: 'F#$% YOU! You can just kiss my #@*!' That felt goooooooood!!!" Cheney brought the house down. Related Articles Condoleezza Rice Seeks to Improve Image, Badunkadonk Sep 5 2004
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