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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Stephen Colbert |
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| You are just out of reach of: Home > Politics | September 8th |
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 John Kerry Almost Caught Flip-Flopping AgainSep 16 2004 by D. T. Kelly
Shortly after he spoke at a VFW convention, Kerry asked the bus driver to stop at a local hamburger establishment called McFlarety's Burger Barn. Several members of the press corps joined Kerry on his food run. Upon receiving his order of a Double Barn Burner with extra cheese and secret sauce, a large order of cow chips and a bucket of cola, Kerry sat at a booth surrounded by reporters and onlookers. Pictures were taken as the presidential candidate ate his meal in relative quiet. He did stop to take a photograph with a young girl who said she was the owner's daughter. After he signed her napkin, she asked him, "Is this the best burger you've ever had?" "Yes, I do bel-" Kerry started to say, then finished, "I do believe this is a mighty fine burger!" There was visible disappointment in the little girl's eyes, but then Kerry ruffled her hair, sent her along her way and proceeded to finish his meal. "Kerry's quick thinking saved him future embarrassment," a top aide to Kerry said afterwards. "Back in July, Kerry was having a quick bite to eat in a diner in upstate New York, where he proclaimed their burger 'the best there is, and the best there ever will be.'" As Kerry walked back to his bus, a reporter from a well-known conservative news network was seen in the parking lot arguing with the little girl. Our reporter overheard the little girl saying, "You promised me fifty bucks, mister," to which the conservative reporter replied, "Yeah, well, you only did half your job. He didn't say he loved it. You only get twenty five dollars." The little girl replied, "Jackass." The reporter, his news agency, and the GOP had no comment on the event. Related Articles Planet of the Apes Star Reveals Secret Past with Bush Sep 13 2004
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