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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · George W Bush |
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| You are standing next to: Home > Politics | October 10th |
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 Get on the Bus with BushSep 25 2004 by Jim Bauman
Our DeadBrain Reporter, Bob Bob White, never sleeps while covering the "Busin' With Bush" Campaign, because, well, he's a guy and a woman's driving the bus – Condi Rice, the National Security Advisor. Here's Bob's report...While on the outskirts of Calamity City in the Florida panhandle, I spilled coffee on my pants when Bush screamed, "Stop the bus, girl!" Condi slammed on the brakes. The bus halted near the ruins of a bridge. We all rose, and Dubya tumbled off the stairs onto the shoulder of the road. Rising from the ground while dusting himself off, Bush said, "No broken bones. Heh. Heh. Just too much enthusiasm, folks!" As a small crowd gathered, Bush climbed the bridge debris. Slipping on a moist girder, Bush fell forward and cut his forehead. People gasped, but Bush reassured them. "Don't worry folks, just a little flesh wound, that's all. I've suffered worse riding a bicycle." "Good people of Calumny, acts of terrorism like this one here will not go unpunished. I will bring the evildoers to justice who perpratiated this vile act..." I watched the Time reporter and Fox TV News crew take copious notes and video of the impromptu speech. Strolling up to one of the townspeople, I asked for a reaction. "I don't know what the hell he's talkin' about. We had heavy rains and a flood destroyed that bridge, not al-Qaeda," said Franklin Smote. The next day, while speechifying on Dreary Avenue in the town of Hopeless, Alabama, Bush walked a few doors from the podium over to where the remains of a burned-out retail building stood. "My fallow citizens, if you elect my opponent, you'll see more damage like this behind me expurgated by murderous deevildoers. It's shockin' how they've reached into the heart of small town Americans." As I scanned the crowd, I saw many confused faces and gaping mouths. I looked beside me, and there was Condi staring at the President and saying, "Isn't he the most handsome, powerful, and masterful man ever? My husband, er, I mean, the President is fantastic, isn't he?!" Related Articles CBS Retracts Abu Ghraib Torture Story, Apologizes to Bush Sep 21 2004
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