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| You are just out of reach of: Home > Politics | October 11th |
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 Opposing View: An Electrifying Vice-Presidential DebateOct 6 2004 by Jim Bauman
Bob Threadmill, our political reporter, was at the Cheney/Edwards V.P. debate...Moderator Gwen Ifill: "Vice President Cheney, with Iraq in major chaos, attacks on American servicemen and women near a total of 80 per day, and the billions of tax dollars that the war is consuming…" (Suddenly, Cheney lifts his hand and points his index finger at Ms. Ifill. She begins choking.) "Aarrgh...ckckcka...ack...ack..." Cheney: "Ms. Ifill, would you like to rephrase the question?" (As he says this, he smirks, withdraws his finger, and rests his arm at his side.) Gwen: (Quickly relaxing and breathing normally.) "Well, yes, Vice President Cheney, please tell us about the positive developments that you've seen in Iraq." (Later on...) Gwen: "Here's a question for you, Senator Edwards. What qualities of character do you think a Vice President should have?" Edwards: "I think the Vice President should be honest, forthright, and have no ties with corporations. And, if the Vice President has what seems to be a conflict of interest with a group outside of the federal government, then the public has a right to ask the Vice President questions about it. For instance, my opponent continues to receive '$150,000 a year in deferred compensation from Halliburton'..." Suddenly, Cheney turned towards Edwards, cocked his head to the side, and raised his hands. Huge thunderbolts flew from his fingertips and seared through Edwards. He flailed and became contorted. His body smoked. Cheney smiled broadly and continued the electrocution. Cheney: "John, come over to the dark side. Join me! Together, our power will be limitless." As Edwards was sinking to the floor in a cocoon of lightning, with his last strength, he grabbed his metal-bound personal copy of the U.S. Constitution and flung it at Cheney. The notebook broke the power stream. The electricity bounced off the metal cover and hit Cheney's chest. Cheney screamed and slumped to the floor. Epilogue: Edwards recovered and Lord Cheney did too when his implanted automatic defribulator restarted his heart for the 63rd time this year. Fox News stated, "Edwards brutally attacked Cheney - a gentle, humble, unselfish, and seasoned public servant." Related Articles Erratic Dick Cheney Shocks Vice Presidential Debate Viewers Oct 6 2004
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