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| You are staring at: Home > Politics | September 7th |
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 Staying on the Bus with BushOct 10 2004 by Jim Bauman
With great reluctance, DeadBrain reporter Bob Bob White acquiesced to stay on the Bush campaign bus. Here's his latest report…Next stop, Booker Elementary School in Sarasota, Florida, site of Bush's famous reading of "The Pet Goat" to a second-grade class on 9/11/01. After bouncing off a telephone pole, sideswiping parked cars, and standing on the brake pedal, Condi Rice stopped the bus. Through a cloud of brake dust and diesel fumes, Bush bounded towards the school. As his face was turned sideways while running forward, Bush made one final wave, and whacked his head on the pillar between the double-door entrances. Reeling backward, the Secret Service guards grabbed him and walked him inside. At the fifth grade classroom, a head-bandaged Bush said to the children, "Hi boys and girls. Three years ago, I read you a story, and today I'll read you a new one by Lynne Cheney, Vice President Dick Cheney's wife, called Johnny's Dad Is a Traitor." "It's a story about a boy named Johnny whose dad was always saying mean and bad things about the government and its handling of the war in Iraq. His dad never showed any patriotism by flyin' American flags over his car or domicile. He shamelessly checked out 'liberal' books from the town library. "Pretty soon his neighbors had enough, and they called the F.B.I. Johnny's dad was taken away for questioning. This book has strong morals for you to live by. But, before I start reading, your teacher will run a short video starring my good, kind friend." A scowling, sour faced Cheney appeared on the TV. Some children whimpered, some hid their faces in their hands, and one boy imitated Curly from The Three Stooges: "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk." The visage of Cheney spoke. "Hi kiddies, tell your parents to vote for President Bush, because if they don't, and Kerry wins, he'll fight a 'sensitive' war against terrorists by coddling them. He'll put a terrorist under your bed! That terrorist will play with your toys steal your lunch money, snore, and fart. Oooooo! He'll be scary! Scarier than me!" Related Articles A Wooden Presidential Debate Oct 9 2004
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