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| You are lounging next to: Home > Politics | September 7th |
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 Kerry Uncaps Votes of Drinkers, AddictsOct 11 2004 by Michael Gantman
Speaking to a capacity crowd at the Anheuser-Busch brewery and theme park in St. Louis, MO, Kerry asked, "Do you really want someone in the White House who can't hold his liquor?" The thirsty crowd followed the Senator as he handed out complimentary bottles of ice cold beer while seated atop one of the brewery's trademark Clydesdales. Though few could identify which of Kerry's policies they fully supported, most were encouraged by the Senator's deft handling of three bottles at once. Said one voter, "He looks very presidential up there." A recent Fox News poll identified Kerry as a 4-to-1 favorite among alcoholics and substance abusers. "This is a new demographic," said one RNC pollster, "but we're confident that those numbers don't reflect the majority of Americans who worship our God and oppose gay marriage." While the President has never openly condemned drinking, he has made no secret of his sobriety. "Sometimes I drank it so fast I couldn't even taste it," the President joked yesterday with a group of school children in Toledo, Ohio. Recalling the 1992 defeat of the first President Bush, who notoriously disliked broccoli, Zeb Argus of Local 108 added, "It wasn't 'read my lips' that lost him the election. It was the broccoli union. Don't mess with pickers. Don't mess with drinkers." Bush strategist Karl Rove accused the Kerry campaign of misrepresenting the facts. "At least when Bush drank," said Rove, "he drank American. Kerry doesn't even drink beer." In response to what she calls "typical jingoistic republican nonsense," Kerry's outspoken wife Teresa Heinz-Kerry said, "John loves beer, and he's got a hollow chin." Related Articles Staying on the Bus with Bush Oct 10 2004
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