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  You are drifting somewhere near: Home > PoliticsJuly 24th 
  Election 2004

The Bush Camp Enlists Chicken Little to Help Get Out the Vote

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The former children's book star Chicken Little has been enlisted by the Bush-Cheney campaign in a last minute bid to help get out the vote.

Little made her first appearance with the President during a pre-debate rally in Arizona, where she quickly picked up the party line.

"The sky is falling!" the bird intoned to cheers from the crowd. "And it's going to keep falling!"

Chicken Little's autobiography recently came in third in a survey of Bush-Cheney supporters' favorite books, behind "Hop on Pop!" and Ann Coulter's "How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must)."

Bush-Cheney campaign manager Ken Mehlman believes that the popular chicken will help ensure that the campaign's most powerful message won't get lost in the shuffle.

"We need America to know that it needs to be afraid," Mehlman said, "and Chicken Little is just the bird to make sure that Americans don't lose sight of that."

Mehlman blamed Democratic challenger John Kerry for trying to obscure this message with one of "hope and optimism."

"Clearly the Senator believes he can confuse voters by pointing out their problems and pretending to offer hope. We know there is no hope."

It's precisely this pessimism that has throngs of Bush-Cheney supporters hoping to ride a tidal wave of fatalism to a second term in office. For many of these supporters, Chicken Little offers that extra push the campaign needs in a tight race.

"Chicken Little is getting the message out for us," gushes Bush supporter Becky Lou Minnowwater. "And President Bush really is our very own, living, breathing, Foxy Woxy."

It's a title the President himself has embraced. "I hear they're calling me Foxy Woxy," the President beamed during a rally. "That's a name I will take - I'm a lot like Foxy Woxy!"

Yet despite the reaction of Bush supporters, some are questioning Chicken Little's ability to reach the all important swing voter. Skeptics have noted that Chicken Little has been unable to sway ardent Kerry supporters Cocky Locky and Henny Penny.

Fellow star Goosey Loosey died in a tragic accident on Vice President Cheney's dining room table.

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