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| You are misplaced along with: Home > Politics | September 8th |
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 Thousands of Canadian Seniors Protest Kerry's Drug Import PlanNov 2 2004 by Kevin Bottero
With the help of walkers, wheelchairs and whipped grandchildren, thousands of Canadian senior citizens took to their nation's capital to protest the American import of their prescription drugs and vaccines. Staged just two days before the American election, they came not just to fight for their right to access affordable drugs, but to show support for President Bush's anti-drug import platform. Head organizer of "We Care About Pharmacare" Moe Fanberg explained the sense of urgency Canadians have about their drug supply. "We're an unhealthy people. We're getting fatter and more out of shape by the day, thanks to the American culture of excess being forced down our throats. First they rob us of our health, now they rob us of the drugs we need to keep our health!" Organizers successfully achieved their goal of attracting media attention for their cause. By planning "We Care About Pharmacare" on Halloween, demonstrators seized the opportunity to hand out treats to children on the street. These 'loot bags' consisted of such child-friendly pharmaceuticals as Ritalin, Paxil and Prozac. Child rights advocates were appalled at the distasteful decision to hand out drugs to children. However, their voices were easily overcome by the powerful candy lobby, which argued in favor of Ritalin's effectiveness in fighting attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Among the other most notable demonstrations: a 72-year-old Lipitor user downed eight Big Macs, six milk shakes and two dozen doughnuts in the "Pfizer Phatass Challenge," and a 93-year-old man popped five pills of Viagra and proceeded to engage in sexual intercourse with eight different women for 95 minutes straight. He came back for three encores, including four additional orgasms. Aging Canadian rocker Neil Young also took part in the demonstration by giving a rousing speech, crediting his continued stamina to a daily mixture of drugs, which include Celebrex, Rogaine, Zoloft and Demerol. Related Articles After High Explosives HMX and RDX Go Missing In Iraq, Bush Targets BMX Bikers Nov 2 2004
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Nov 1 2004
Thrown Off the Bus with Bush
Nov 1 2004
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On the Edge of Sanity, On the Bus with Bush
Oct 30 2004
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