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  You are sitting on: Home > PoliticsJanuary 9th 
  Election 2004

Sunday Religion Update: Bush Win Prompts Tears in Heaven

It was a sad day for America, a sad day for the world. Somewhere in the Great Beyond, George Washington wept. Abraham Lincoln propped his head in his hands and muttered to himself. And God, who's supposed to know everything, couldn't believe it.

President George W. Bush's re-election resonated across America, the world, and even into the heavens.

"How in the world did President Bush win a second term?" God asked. "His victory blows the whole Sermon on the Mount philosophy right out the window. I thought it was supposed to be the meek inheriting the earth, not the neo-cons and right-wing evangelicals.

"Let the record show that my philosophy has nothing to do with what was advanced in my name during the campaign, nothing at all," God added.

God was amazed that Bush could win a second term after all the problems and controversy of his first four years. Off the top of His head, He listed these issues:

"The Afghanistan war, attacking Iraq, no WMDs, more than 1,000 U.S. soldiers losing their lives and thousands of Iraqi soldiers and civilians killed, crushing debt, Halliburton, Dick Cheney, the economy, untold thousands injured in the war. Not to mention Fahrenheit 9/11, the neo-cons, making almost the entire world angry at America, not finding Osama. And the list goes on."

"What was America thinking, sending him back to office?" God wondered. "I know I'm supposed to know, but I don't."

Neither does George Washington, who said Bush is the least intelligent and competent president, much less two-term president, since the Republic began. "Good grief, he makes Millard Fillmore and Benjamin Harrison look like statesmen, not to mention Andrew Jackson and Herbert Hoover."

A distraught Abe Lincoln, although saddened by the election, tried to provide some perspective. "In a society where reality shows rule, fast-food is king and even Tony Danza has a television talk show, maybe it shouldn't be all that surprising.

"Heaven help us all," Lincoln added with a sigh, as God nodded in agreement. "Heaven help us all."

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