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| You are staring at: Home > Politics | February 10th |
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 DeadBrain Time Machine: President Schwarzenegger Says, "I Am a Girlie Man!"Nov 26 2004 by Phinneas Zoquo
Rumors of the ex-Governator's homosexuality began circulating shortly after ascending to the land's highest office, made available when George W. Bush and his entire Administration were found guilty of war crimes by the recent UN tribunal. Rather than making the cleaning up of Liechtenstein's nuclear fallout his first order of business, Schwarzenegger instead chose to focus on repealing the Sanctity of Marriage Amendment. The amendment, which, among other things, bans all male-to-male contact when not in football uniforms, has been the subject of controversy since its ratification two years ago. Describing himself as the "Girlie Man" he so often mocked as California's governor, Schwarzenegger said he was "so super happy that I can finally let my true colors shine through." He then continued despite beginning to sob, "I'm more relieved than when Lou Ferrigno said he would indeed be my Valentine. I still can't believe so many people actually believed that my 'wife' Maria was a woman. I mean, look at him!" Schwarzenegger then concluded his chat by performing a choreographed lambada with fellow out-of-the closet confidant and Secretary of Education, 50 Cent, to the 70s hit "It's Raining Men." Senate Majority Leader David Duke (R - Louisiana) is appalled at President Schwarzenegger's "betrayal of the American public's trust." Speaking from RNC headquarters at the site of the old UN building on Manhattan's East Side, Duke fumed, "Karl Rove and I did not spend $2 billion worth of taxpayer dollars on spin campaigning to put some dingleberry shaver in the White House! I suppose I should have realized something was fishy when he appointed Elton John as his Secretary of Defense." Vice President Siegfried was not available for comment. Related Articles DeadBrain Time Machine: Source Confirms John Edwards Forgot to Vote Nov 2 2004
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