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| You accidentally discovered: Home > Politics | November 21st |
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Alberto Gonzales Whips Everyone Into Shape at His Confirmation HearingJan 7 2005 by Jim Bauman
The Committee members dropped their pens and jaws when they saw Gonzales. He was garbed in a black motorcycle cap, a black T-shirt draped with several chains, black shorts, and high, shiny, black jackboots. He was a sight that everyone present wished that they didn't have to behold. Grasping a silver-handled black whip, Gonzales took a seat. Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL), a Judiciary Committee member and the second-ranking Democrat in the Senate, asked the first question. "Mr. Gonzales, it's been alleged that you and Justice Department attorneys created a memo that defined torture in a very narrow sense - the definition stated that for a prisoner procedure to be deemed torture, it would be so only if 'organ failure, impairment of bodily function or even death' were the result. How do you respond?" (Silence.) "Mr. Gonzales, I have a copy of the memo in my hand, right here, right now!" Suddenly, Gonzales drew his whip in a high arc backward and then forward. With a loud CRACK, the end of the whip tore the memo in half and the pieces drifted to the floor in front of the committee. "You HAD it in your hand," said Gonzales in a sullen, mocking tone. Committee member Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) now spoke up. "Mr. Gonzales, your photo is on the website of the 'Perverted Amalgamation of International and National Sadists' or 'PAINS.' The website states that you're the chief spokesman of their group. How do you respond?" Gonzales nudged the whip's handle, and the committee members flinched. When he saw their response, Gonzales gave a surly smile. (Silence.) Feinstein asked him again. "Listen, [expletive deleted]! I don't have to answer any questions from you or any of you whiny, softhearted, do-gooders. I answer only to the President. The enemies of America have to be dealt with, and I'll do whatever it takes to break 'em…anything!" Epilogue: Gonzales stormed out of the room, and was later overwhelmingly confirmed.
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