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Who Knows What Lurks in the White House Email Server? We Do!
DeadBrain reporter Beulah Byline either got the biggest break in her back or in the world of journalism! It appears to be the latter. She spoke with Greg Geekmeyer, the fired White House IT Director turned Whistleblower, who had quite a story to tell…
"Beulah, a week ago, the White House e-mail servers became overloaded and were not accepting any new messages sent to president@whitehouse.gov. My inspection of all ten mega-servers showed that they were more clogged than the toilets at a high-fiber diet testing lab.
"Ever since Bush's been in office, no one has opened any of the messages. The public thinks their messages are read by Bush, but they're not. The White House Inbox appears to be a public relations sham - a cruel joke.
"In poking around the servers though, I opened many and found that 99.9% of them were in this vein:
"'...Bush, as for your proposals for Social Security reform, you can stick them where the sun don't shine...'
"'...Mr. President, you've created a federal deficit that's so huge that if it had mass it would be an earth-threatening meteor five times the size of Jupiter, and not even 12 million Bruce Willis clones could blow it up like in the movie Armageddon...'
"The only positive messages were from the five columnists that the Administration paid with taxpayer money to propagandize the No Child Left Behind program and Traditional (Gay-less) Marriage. Armstrong Williams, who had already been paid $240,000 wrote this: 'My mother-in-law wants braces, my Chinese Shar-Pei puppy requires a face lift, and my crawlspace needs remodeling, so if you want me to write more upbeat, favorable columns, just have your bagman Press Secretary show me the money! Small bills, please…'
"Some offbeat stuff exposed itself too. A woman, I guess it was a woman wrote, 'I'm trying to reach Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, Sir. I've posted photos of myself in a new Dominatrix outfit, and because we're kindred spirits, I thought he'd like to take a peek. Please forward this message to my Torture god. Thanks a bunch! Curses and kisses!'"
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