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| You are misplaced along with: Home > Politics | December 5th |
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 Bill Maher Better Watch Out for Bachus, Sources SayJun 7 2005 by JL Strickland
A furious Bachus called for Maher's banishment from television as punishment for Maher's snide comments regarding the Army's 42 percent shortfall in enlistments for April. Not only has Bachus accused Maher of lack of patriotism, Maher has also been charged with concealing the fact that Jennifer Wilbanks, the Runaway Bride, was actually Maher's on-and-off girlfriend, Ann Coulter, wearing a dark wig. Maher's comment that recruiting was short because the Army had already picked the "low-lying fruit" particularly incensed Rep. Bachus, alleged Republican. '"Besides being a nasty slur denigrating the quality of our fine recruits," Bachus roared, "this is a knee-in-the groin to the Kroger produce department!" Bachus added, "Everybody with a brain knows the military has a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy regarding fruits!" It's not the first time Maher has been in hot water because of his feeble attempts at humor. Remarks he made commending the bravery of the 9/11 terrorists caused ABC to lose viewers on his former show, "Politically Incorrect," though this questionable comment did make him the first American to win the al Qaeda Merit Award. Off the record, Republicans say Maher has flipped one booger too many at the administration. One unnamed source said Maher's asking for trouble if he takes Bachus lightly. "Few people know how strong and vicious Spencer can be. Once in a Washington bar, I saw him slam Janet Reno in an arm-wrestling contest, and that took ape-man power! Reno was so shocked she accidentally swallowed her chaw of tobacco!" Another long-time Bachus watcher agreed the congressman should never be underestimated. "Spencer is the guy who had the Pee-wee Herman dolls snatched off the shelves. And God only knows what happened to those filthy things. "If Maher is as smart as he thinks he is, he should realize it could be a quick slide from low-hanging fruit to the bottom row of Hollywood Squares. It's a short trot from the fragrant orchard to the stinky outhouse!" Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website! Related Articles Bill Maher Better Watch Out for Bachus, Sources Say Jun 7 2005
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