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In a Huge Surprise, Bush Nominates White Guy for Supreme Court
President George W. Bush said today the main qualification for U.S. Circuit Judge John G. Roberts Jr.'s nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court was "He's a middle-aged white guy with what looks like a bad rug, but maybe not.
"I need to check out the hairpiece thing, which is probably just as important as his views on abortion, affirmative action and all those other issues I care little about," Bush said.
"But, hey, he's a conservative white guy - maybe the spitting image of me - which is the most important thing," Bush said. "He oughta be enough to drive the Democrats in the Senate nuts for awhile. But you know and I know they'll cave. They always do."
Bush said he couldn't believe the media speculation that a woman or a Hispanic would replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, who's retiring after being on the bench since 1981.
"How stupid do they think I am?" Bush said. "Don't answer that. But if I'm given the choice of replacing a 70-something-year-old woman with a 50-year-old white guy, I'm gonna do it in a heartbeat.
"I have to admit, the speculation about a woman or some Mexican guy had to help my poll numbers, which, quite honestly, haven't been all that great lately," Bush said. "But there's no way I would consider placing any woman or minority on the Supreme Court, which is probably the most important appointment a president can make."
Bush said he'd never heard of Roberts until three or four days before he nominated him, even though Roberts served as a federal appeals judge in Washington, D.C.
"Hey, I have a few other important things on my plate - the Iraq war and Karl Rove and the economy and that sports team, which one was it, that wore flip-flops to meet me in the White House.
"I'm sure somebody will tell me where Judge Roberts stands on various issues," Bush said. "But I don't really care about that right now. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to tell John Ashcroft that he didn't make the cut."
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