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Yankees Sign Jesus to a One-Year Deal
Apr 22 2004 by Shawn Monks
In their biggest move since trading for Alex Rodriguez, the New York Yankees acquired Jesus Christ and signed His Lord and Savior to a one year deal worth ten Hail Marys and five Our Fathers. The deal is considered under market value for the Son of God.
"JC really just wanted to win a championship," said Yankees GM Brian Cashman at a press conference at St. Patrick's Cathedral in Manhattan, "before The Rapture."
Jesus' career ended abruptly after being crucified in the holy land. Christ never won a World Series ring, losing the 24AD NLCS in four games.
When asked what else an offspring of a deity had to prove, Christ respond, "Just being in the same lineup as my children ARod and Jeter is a great honor for me. I shall bequeath upon our fans yet another World Series Ring."
Joe Torre, when pressed as to where Jesus would play in an already crowded Yankees lineup, was unusually vague. "He will be everywhere, all the time."
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