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| You have fallen into: Home > Sport | December 5th |
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Reagan an Early Gold Medal Favorite for the 2004 Cadaver GamesJun 20 2004 by Greg Kuhl
Ex-President Ronald Reagan was installed today as an early favorite for four gold medals in the 2004 Cadaver Games in Athens later this summer.Oddsmakers made Reagan the favorite in the 100-meter and 200-meter dashes, as well as the shotput and discus - a rather strange, and almost unprecedented, combination of speed and strength. But bookie sources said they'd learned Reagan had actually been working out secretly for the Cadaver Games since he left the public spotlight ten years ago with Alzheimer's. And one source added that he'd been training with track coaches associated with the BALCO performance-enhancing drug scandal that threatens to rock the 2004 Olympics. "Nobody knew it, but Reagan had become a chiseled 300-pound sprinter at the time of his death," one source said. "Like Marion Jones and other world-class athletes, he denied ever taking steroids or other drugs." As a result, the bookies established Reagan as a gold medal favorite in four Cadaver Games events. Other noteworthy athletes joining Reagan on the U.S. team are actor Tony Randall and Captain Kangaroo. "We wanted to go with the recently deceased, hoping they still have their athleticism," said U.S. Coach Bob Hope. "We know the Iraqis, Israelis and Hamas will have deep teams, although they don't have our star power." One potential roadblock to Reagan's chances could be Osama bin Laden, who has shown tremendous athletic ability by staying on the run for years. He also has a lean and wiry build, making him potentially a strong athlete. The unanswered question, of course, is whether bin Laden will be captured and killed before the Cadaver Games and the U.S. presidential election. If he is, Reagan could have a major challenger for gold. President George Bush, asked about Reagan's and bin Laden's chances, said "Can I compete too? You mean you have to die first? Damn."
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