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  American Midol

American Midol: The Red Sox, Game Five, and a Lapsed Catholic's Extra-Inning Nod to God

Bottom of the 13th inning, Sox vs. Yanks. Crazy game, again. Successful steal by Ortiz called out. Knuckleballs driving Varitek to drink. Damon needs a hug, BIG time.

And me. I'm on the couch, like every other Sox fan in the universe — wincing, clutching, braying, hoping, tsking, gasping, and gagging on the horrid stench of human optimism that's wafting in the air.

Despite history. Despite fear. Despite the absence of a compassionate Supreme Being.

I'm writing because I have to do something. It's too late to exercise, I don't want to nosh, and my husband/editor and I already (impossibly) squeezed in a quickie about two innings ago, hoping perhaps that such an unprecedented act would indeed be the universal X-factor nudging Boston to a win.

And now it's the top of the 14th inning, and I'm watching my beloved New England fans pray and jump and turn to their friends — sometimes hitting them, sometimes high-fiving them — with looks of something between hope and marrowed misery.

Jeter. Grrrr. Hate that guy. Stupid acrobatics. Smug as hell. Chew, chew, chew that stupid gum, you Mariah-eating dumb-ass.

See what this does to me? I'm not proud of that sentence, yet I feel it like I feel the unconditional love for my precious child. It's real, it's deep, and it's incontrovertible.

My husband: "Yes, Loaiza, you are the goat...you are the goat..." If that makes sense to you, good for you, man, you're a real fan. "Goat...Goat...C'mon, Johnny. Goat! GOAT! Look into my eyes, goat!!!"

"One-out walk on a borderline pitch," says Fox's Buck. And I'm writing now because I want to — I DESPERATELY want to — be writing to you when that winning bat-smack makes contact; when SOMEONE on our beloved team makes it 'round the bases, past his cheering teammates, trouncing home plate, onto game six...then seven...then, oh yes — I'll say it:

Onto the World Series, where we'll WIN this time. Screw, screw, SCREW the curse! The Sox will rise again!

"David Ortiz with another chance to win it." Two outs. Gut hurts. Are You There, God? It's Me, Lani.

YES!

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